In today’s world of electronics, gadgets, and TV, it’s no wonder that unemployment is so high. You may be thinking that this statement is completely false and has no real bearing on unemployment (you’re probably right) but, hear me out.

The latest time sucker in the lives of millions across the globe is the iPhone. Providing literally thousands of applications and games, users of this magical device find themselves glued to its tiny screen. For what, you might ask? Addicting applications like iFart, PocketGod, or even The Price Is Right (TM).

While all of these and more have been responsible for millions of hours of lost time and productivity, new “games” are set to be the mother of all time killers. Before explaining, it’s important to understand how these games affect the economy.

It’s really quite simple. First an unsuspecting user decides to purchase a game in the “App Store”. That innocent user plans on “trying out” the game for a little fun during a break at work. Little does he know, while playing the game, time actually speeds up! Yes it’s true! Time actually speeds up during the playing of any iPhone game!

It becomes clear that due to this strange phenomenon, the user becomes excessively late for work and ultimately, loses their job. Sure this doesn’t really affect the masses with just a few iPhone users but due to the 20 million (and growing) user base, this is having a major impact on society and unemployment rates.

Furthermore, this problem is escalated for these poor souls when they try to “find work” but instead find themselves neck deep in the middle of an iPhone game completely unaware that time is speeding by and job interviews are being missed.

There are new iPhone games set to be released that could make this problem even worse. We’re not talking about a little worse, but a global pandemic. Currently in the submission process with Apple to get listed in the App Store are new addicting games getting even worse. The majority of those that play these new games lost their jobs (unconfirmed), grew their hair out (due to loss of time), and are losing weight very quickly (actually a benefit of these satanic game).

While some new games are simple “Tower Defense” games, their addicting nature, explosions, fast paced music, and cool graphics could be nothing short of demonic. I highly recommend you join me in NOT purchasing these application from the Apple App store on the iPhone when they are released. Join the fight!